One of my friends asked me tonight if she was afraid to love. She's been talking with this guy for a little bit, and he's been saying how much he wants to take her to a Cubs game, or teach her how to golf. And I guess she's scared of committing now to something so far away...the summer.
Am I afraid to love? I don't know if I remember what it feels like to be loved. Not family love. Of course I know my family loves me. But to have another person's love and affection. All these years, I've been on these one-sided loves. I know how to love. I know what it is. But to experience it for myself...that's altogether a different animal. I don't see it happening to me, I don't dare hope that it could.
What makes us afraid to be loved? Is it the fear of knowing that you can't ever live up to the other's expectations of you? Knowing that you don't deserve the other person's love? That you will never be as wonderful as the you on the pedestal? Or is it because you don't want to be vulnerable to accepting the love, afraid that you will be hurt in the end, when that love diminishes, when affections grow cold.
My brother says that the reason I'm still single is because I'm not ready to be in a relationship. Is that true? I think I'm ready. I'm sure I could do it. But deep down, I know that I am afraid to love. To be loved.
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