My Secret

I'm very good about keeping other people's secrets. I tend to spill my guts when it comes to my own. I'm a fairly open book, and enjoy telling my stories to any who is willing to listen.

However, I recently stumbled into a secret of my own, one that I'd like to keep to myself for a while. I already shared it with several people, my closest friends, but that is all. This secret will be mine for now, my juicy, tasty, joy-bringing morsel. And whenever I think of it, I am in paradise, transported back to the point where it all started.

Nothing can taint this secret, nothing can come near it. It is protected and treasured, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

This is my secret, and in my ears alone will it echo.

Tiny Kindnesses

Waiting to board my flight to Chicago, I was in the bathroom getting ready. I already woke up at 4:30 this morning, why would I wake up any earlier if I can put on makeup at the airport? So there I was, and the only other people in the bathroom were this mother/daughter duo. Mom, having the same idea as me, was getting also getting ready for the day, and the little girl was playing with her earring.

All of a sudden, she drops the earring back, and couldn't find it, so of course, she's upset. She's throwing a bit of a fit, which, I don't blame her. It is really early, and to have the day start off losing a precious earring back is not ideal. Well, her mother just had her take off the earring and left to the seating area. I decided to take a look on my way out, and I saw the tiny earring back just sitting in the grout. At least, I think it was hers. I returned it to the girl, who was on the phone with her father, and as I walked away, I hear her telling her father. She referred to me as "the lady."

Well, I hope it was her earring back. At least, I hope I made her feel a little better about a 6:30 am flight. =)

Being Bad

Sometimes, I wish I could be bad. I think about all the things I want to do, but never let myself. Seems like it would be much more fun if I just let go and didn't think about the consequences. But I can't. Or won't.

What would it be like if I could just do things wihout repercussion? If i could smoke without the threat of cancer or addiction? If I could drink without worrying about calories or cirrhosis? Travel without caring about money spent, or not earned? Love without risking hurt? Ok...I guess that last one would be worth the risk, or so people say. But back to my main point.

Being bad seems so enticing. These days, my only act of rebellion is going out for a beer with classmates and getting home after midnight. I'm living at home, saving money, keeping my actions (and emotions) in check lest I do anything I might later regret. I don't particularly mind, but is this all that my mid-20s will account for? Practical, strategic decisions, the fruit of which I won't realize for another 20-30 years? Yes. I suppose so. Don't I rather wish I could go to the Boardy Barn with friends, forget responsibilities for an afternoon, splurge a little, or pamper myself? Yes. Of course. And yet...I can't. Or won't. I still have yet to make up my mind about what's holding me back.

I might find my answer one day, and when I do, I'll be sure to let you know

Is it springtime right now?

I'm in love with a wonderful guy. Well, I'm sure he has his flaws, and it doesn't help that there might be a slight conflict of interest or issue of professionality at stake here, or that I've been totally enamoured with his younger brother for the past 6 years.

No. None of that matters right now.

All that really matters is that I just spent a lovely evening with him at a nice steakhouse, over a great bottle of wine. The night was so perfect...he was so perfect. I must say, this is probably the first date where the guy did everything right.

And when I say everything, I mean everything.

Ignore the fact that I drove because he's from out of town and I know the area pretty well. He held open doors for me, but not awkwardly so. He seemed to time his steps so that he arrived at the door just in time to get it for me. Of course, I may have helped out and let him get the door, but he still got it. Then when ordering, he asked what I was thinking of getting, what my thoughts on appetizer/sides were, and he ordered for me. HE ORDERED FOR ME!! That is one of my biggest turn-ons, when the guy is a man who can take the lead. Yes, he listened to my suggestions, but he took the lead. That is just uber-sexy to me. And great choice in wine. Yum. Throughout our entire evening, he listened just the right amount, he talked the right amount, he paced his eating to match mine, he refilled my glass when I was running low on wine, it was great. And he handeled the bill so smoothly, tipped the valet in time (something I'm very bad about)...just...he was perfect.

I don't know if I can classify this as a date, because after all, he was here on business, but I don't care. I love being in love, and let's just say that it's been a bit dry around here lately.