Maybe I went into the wrong profession

For my Disney online class, after we read the books/articles and watch the shorts/films for the week, we have to post on the discussion board. Some of the posts are in response to the professor's questions, some are in response to our classmates' posts. Tonight, I read a post by Holly, and it made me feel so good to see my name quoted in APA format:

As a response to May Chang's report on both films - I really enjoyed certain aspects that stood out to you within the films. Certainly, “Shere Khan and Cruella DeVille seem like manifestations of evil” (Chang) and I, too, placed my focus on the dislike I had for these two characters when watching the films. I think Disney wanted to create films that had a distinctive good and evil plot, portraying to the American public that good will always overcome evil: “By having one clear antagonist, the audience can focus their dislike to one character, and can feel good when the evil plan is foiled” (Chang). Perhaps Disney wanted to show his audience the choices that they have in life, namely in a changing time one has the choice to go down a path of good or evil. Moreover, I think your assessment on Disney's interest in other countries is very valid: “Since American Isolation came to an end with our involvement in WWII, there was an increasing interest in foreign countries. Jungle Book, set in India, took advantage of the rising interest in the Far East” (Chang). The American public must have, indeed, found this aspect of the film fascinating, or rather Disney placed an interest into the homes of America highlighting that travel and foreign countries must be explored. However, I do also think, like you stated, that Disney promoted values of the American middle class – One Hundred and One Dalmatians certainly explores the middle class – Roger and Anita try to establish, and ultimately earn, a life living the “American Dream.”

I really liked seeing my name cited. Made me feel smart. Maybe I should've gone into something where I need to get published in high-brow journals so people can quote me in their dissertations and stuff.

All right, Mr. Demille, I'm ready for my close-up.

If life were a movie, it would be a rom-com and I'd be the female lead. Not the klutzy, naive, blundering fool, but the cool, elegant, calculating type. I tend to think the world revolves around me, and those around me will act, or react, to my decisions. I know just how much I can get away with and how much is entitled to me. And things almost always go my way (only in affairs of the heart do my plans fall through).

Now, of course I don't actually think the world revolves around me. I know I often think that my influence is far greater than it really is. I think I hold more sway over others than I do, and I often wonder, is it because of me that so-and-so did this-or-that? Then there are times when I think I am so insignificant that, no matter what I do or say or how hard I try, nothing will change.

Is it snobbish of me to think that my friends usually end up doing what I want to do? That is, unless I consciously take a back seat to the planning, and even then....

I think my friends fit into three or four levels. I don't categorize them on purpose, it's just what happens.
Acquaintance Level 1: People generally think I'm really mean. Sarcastic. Attention-seeking. Fake. Or very quiet, without a strong personality. Obviously don't know me at all.

Acquaintance Level 2: People generally think I'm genuinely nice and considerate. Or that I'm the person to call out to drink with (aka party girl). Extremes, I know, but that's me.

Friend: People here would/should feel comfortable asking me for favors (like wake up calls or rides). If I have your number, and you have mine, that's a pretty safe bet we're friends. I think you're a quality person worth getting to know, and I make an effort to reach out to you from time to time.

Close Friend/bff: People here know that I'm actually fairly mean, but accept and appreciate it. They know that I'm not malicious about it, I'm just truthful and a little too terse, at times. They also know that I will go to great lengths for them when it really counts.

 I call it as I see it. I have a pretty intense personality, and as a result, I may be mean or abrasive to some, but I don't really mean it maliciously. I try to do what I can to keep from hurting others, but sometimes friends are lost. Their loss.


...man, I really am a bitch.

A Candle Can't Burn From Two Ends

Mom is in Taiwan for another six weeks or so. She went back at the beginning of August. We (mom, dad, brothers, and I) email back and forth to keep in touch and to get updates about my grandparents. I once sent her an email around 2 AM eastern, and mom was worried that I have too much work, between school, teaching, and taking care of the home. She reminded me that a candle can't burn from two ends. What she meant is that I need to be sure to take care of myself or otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep it up for very long. I assured her I wasn't.

But I might be.

I know I shouldn't complain about getting more students, that I'm blessed to be able to have so many without even trying to advertise or anything of the sort. But I really feel short on time. I just don't have enough time to take on any students. I'm not even asking for a social life...I just want to be able to complete my readings and papers in time, and not fall asleep during lessons or church. I'd also like to keep my health, what's left of it, anyway.

A friend asked me the other night if I'm starting to feel the pressure to find Mr. Right. I laughed it off, of course, but the truth of the matter is that I don't think I've given it much thought recently. I'm just trying to get through each week, and consider it an accomplishment when I do. Don't get me wrong, I do hope that Mr. Right will find me, and I, him. I know what I'm looking for in a guy, I'm just not looking for a guy right now. Pressure? Yeah, I suppose, but there's nothing I can do about it when I don't even have the opportunity to meet people these days. Although, there was a group of guys talking about photons last night when I was watching the Giants' game at the bar last night....haha just kidding...they weren't cute at all.

...I should sleep...my brain is going in all sorts of directions. It's super-fried from 7 hours of movies and 3 hours of class today, plus reading 2 chapters on Disney....=_=;

First Post!

There's quite a lot of pressure to write a first post. I haven't had to write a first post since 2002. This first post will define what follows from here on out. That's a lot of pressure to put on a first post.

I thought I'd start off doing some self-reflecting on a decision I had to make in church today. Well, not so much the decision itself, but the things that affected how I made my decision. It happened during lunch, when Monty asked me if I'd heard any gossip lately. Of course, he asked me in front of five other people, and even if I'd heard anything (which I didn't yet), I wouldn't've just blurted it in front of everyone.

The power of Gossip:
Sophomore year of college, I decided to try out Lent for the first time. A couple people around me fasted random things during Freshman year, and I wanted to see what it was like. Instead of giving up sweets or meat or mirrors, I decided to give up gossiping. Next to journaling, it was probably the best decision I've ever made. Of course it was difficult, as Spring and Love were in the air, so I edited my fast so I couldn't gossip, but people can tell me things. I've since come to realize how unproductive an activity gossiping is. People never gossip about the good things that others do; we like to gossip about who's going out with whom, he said/she said fluff, and more often than not, people get hurt, reputations tarnish, and a feeling of secrecy pervades the air. And that is not a healthy environment for church or school.

The power of Honesty:
My favorite small group leader taught me this lesson. She was my college group/small group leader for most of my college experience. Among the lessons she taught us, honesty was the biggest. I often wondered what made her such a great leader, and came to the conclusion that she was always very honest with us about herself. She didn't pretend she knew all the answers, she didn't pretend that she had it all together and was the perfect Christian girl. She told us when she struggled with xyz or when she didn't like such and such. She showed me that it's okay to be weak in front of the group, and I've tried to adopt that into my leaderosophy. I try to be honest with my youth group and talk about everything under the sun, from pumice-ing our feet to enjoying a pitcher of sangria over chocolate fondue. Boys, girls, drinking, getting annoyed at classmates and roommates; I want to show my kids that I'm not hiding anything from them, so they shouldn't hide anything from me. I also try to encourage them to talk to their parents about their boy/girl issues right from the get-go. ...They still have yet to do so...=_=;

The power of Ethics and Values:
One of my campus classes is an ethics class for educators. In class, we talk about everything from testing to GLBTQ issues, from racism to cheating. Both of my online classes have discussed about stereotyping racism/gender roles. Even though we're only 1/3 of the way through the semester, I can see how my class discussions are already shaping my worldview. Now I think about things and ask myself, "Is this ethical?" Many times, I don't know the answer. Ultimately, it isn't the Yes or No that's important; what's important is the struggle and how we arrive at our answer.

"Have you heard of any gossip lately?" 
"No. Tell me!" 
"I hear that E and D are dating." 
"Oh....ok. I'll try to confirm that."

Gossiping is not good. Dating in secret is not good. I dug around and got to the bottom of today's gossip, but not because I wanted to know. It's so I can be sure of the facts, instead of going off of assumptions and hearsay. This way, I can be there for my girl if and when things go sour. I don't like that I found out through the grapevine.

People should just be open and honest with each other. I will be.