I'm annoyed at my brother. Soooo annoyed at him. Tonight, he asked me if I would be mad that he told his fiancé about my bra. Like, what?
Rewinding back to this morning:
This morning, he came into my room so I could tell him about a vexing dream I'd just had. Upon entering, he sees my bra just sitting on my dresser, and he laughs because it's so big. Mind you, I'm not that boobacious, but my mom insisted on buying Ds because the cup is bigger, so it wraps around my snugly. Of course, I would never buy D-cups, but she did, and what's done is done. I fill them in pretty well, which is why I keep wearing them, but don't get the wrong idea, I'm NOT busty. Anyway...fast forward to tonight. He told his fiancé, apparently laughing because of the silly thing that my mom did, and while I'm not upset that he told her, because obviously I don't really care, but I'm upset that he had the nerve to ask AFTER THE FACT. What if I was sensitive about the subject, or did get mad that he said anything about it? What would that change? He can't unsay the past. No, all he'll do is tell her that I'm upset about it. Great, so now I seem like the small person who can't take a joke. If he thought that I'd be upset, maybe he shouldn't have told her in the first place! So all I said at the time was that he's 30 now, and he should be able to use his own judgment, to which he replied, "I did." Really? So NOW I'm upset!
I just feel like, lately, he hasn't been thinking things through very well. I'm sure he's thinking things, but he seems to be drawing all the wrong conclusions. His whole world is now revolving around his fiancé. Which is fine and good and all, but that doesn't mean he can ignore his responsibilities and throw us in the dirt. Yes, I understand that he loves her and wants the best for her, but if my hypothetical future boyfriend were to become so irresponsible and inconsiderate towards his family. You bet I'd say something about it to him. I'm not sure how much he's planning on spending on is wedding, but I already know that however much it is, is too more than he can afford to spend at this point. There's no bigger picture, no far sight. No 远见. My other brother put it best, he's not being a good steward.
And the cherry on top of it all, is that he's the eldest. He's supposed to be setting a good example of the type of guy I'm supposed to be looking for. Now, it's become the type of guy that I should avoid. Worst of all, is that I feel horrible for thinking like so. The bubble has been burst, the glass, shattered. My respect for him, diminished. I've been harboring a personal secret for the past two weeks, unsure of why I couldn't tell him, and now I know why. I can't trust him anymore. I can't trust his lack of better judgment.
