Vine Time

Spring break is just around the corner. This year, my friends, Lauren and Meg, are coming from Chicago and DC areas (respectively), to the Big Apple. Granted, planning this trip has not been the easiest for me, but tonight, I get to relax and anticipate my most recent acquisition for the vacation. Since we three are music teachers on a modest budget, to save money, I suggested we bring wine and drink in our hotel, rather than go out every night. Now, keep that on the dl, because I think technically we're probably not allowed to do this. So...shame on us, but nobody is getting hurt.

Class let out early tonight, so on the way to the library, I took a slight detour to a wine&liquor down the street. The store itself was a bit sad; several shelves were either empty or haphazardly stocked, but at least the wine regions were clearly marked. I went in thinking that I'd get a CA Chardonnay, Upstate NY Riesling, and a southern Muscato. I didn't think my friends would appreciate the less-fruity European styles of wine. Well, the only New York wines are from the island, and I don't particularly care for the mineral-y flavor of Long Island wines, based on the three or four that I've had.

I ended up getting only two wines tonight; the third will have to wait for later this week. But the two that I bought, I'm very excited about.



The first: Chateau St Jean Chardonnay 2009. Reviews from Winetracker give it an average of 87.3 points, saying it is light bodied, rich, buttery, oaky, pears, vanilla, and citrus. Some say it is good with shellfish, others drank it alone. I have high hopes for this wine. For a $15 bottle of wine, they say it's a good deal.




The second: Menage a Trois California White 2010. There are very sparse reviews on this wine, but of those out there, they say it's not a spectacular wine. They say it's a light white with soft, subtle, floral finishes, and is easily paired with food. This wine is a blend of chardonnay, moscato, and chenin blanc; I enjoy all three varietals, though I wish it was semillon instead of chenin blanc. Truth be told, I bought it for the label. The name caught me. I figured there will be three of us in the hotel room, and this is the type of joke that I find amusing, and my friends would expect nothing less from me. For a $12 joke, I'm sure it'll be just fine.



The third: Laurel Lake Riesling. Being a trip to New York, I couldn't resist throwing in a New York wine. Laurel Lake, located on Long Island, uses grapes from the Finger Lake region to make this Riesling. Fruity and florally, this clean, crisp wine is perfect for after-dinner drinking. $18




In short, I'm really looking forward to drinking these next week. I know it sounds like I'm this huge wine snob who knows what she's talking about, but this is pretty much the extent of my wine knowledge. Tasting-wise, most of my descriptions are very basic, hardly beyond the "it tastes like....wine" stage. We all have to start somewhere.

Afraid to Love

One of my friends asked me tonight if she was afraid to love. She's been talking with this guy for a little bit, and he's been saying how much he wants to take her to a Cubs game, or teach her how to golf. And I guess she's scared of committing now to something so far away...the summer.

Am I afraid to love? I don't know if I remember what it feels like to be loved. Not family love. Of course I know my family loves me. But to have another person's love and affection. All these years, I've been on these one-sided loves. I know how to love. I know what it is. But to experience it for myself...that's altogether a different animal. I don't see it happening to me, I don't dare hope that it could.

What makes us afraid to be loved? Is it the fear of knowing that you can't ever live up to the other's expectations of you? Knowing that you don't deserve the other person's love? That you will never be as wonderful as the you on the pedestal? Or is it because you don't want to be vulnerable to accepting the love, afraid that you will be hurt in the end, when that love diminishes, when affections grow cold.

My brother says that the reason I'm still single is because I'm not ready to be in a relationship. Is that true? I think I'm ready. I'm sure I could do it. But deep down, I know that I am afraid to love. To be loved.

The Time Is Now

Time. What an elusive concept. This one word encompasses so much, and yet, there is never enough of it. The clock ticks down and we run out of time, but...there's always tomorrow.

Try as I might, I'm never able to get ahead of myself. I thought I'd finish my work earlier this week, so I would have time to hang out with friends, to do things, to practice. And yet, here I sit, whiling away the minutes.

There are times when time seems to stop, to stand still, and drag on for an eternity. Sometimes, it's good, when we can savor the moment, drinking in every detail, every sound, every aroma. Other times, it's awkward, and nobody seems to know what to do, or what to say. And other times, it's bad. Seconds feel like an eternity, while you stand there, wishing for nothing more than to have the ground open up and swallow you whole.

I hung out with my friends last night. I hadn't seem them in months. These are some of my best friends since elementary school. In the past, regardless of how much time has passed, we pick up as if it were yesterday; nothing changes. Last night, though, I realized just how much we changed this time. Silences dragged on, when I would look around the group, and nobody wanted to talk. I filled the silences, even though I have the least going on.

It's sad, but I think I'm ready this time. In the past, I wasn't ready to let go. I held on, for old times' sake. But I think a time of restructuring is not uncalled for. I've reached a point in my life where I need to take a good look around me and decide what, and whom, I will be identified with.

Will I regret this decision as much as I did back in 2006? Probably. Am I still moving forward with this decision? Definitely.

Inspired

I consider my current daily routine dull. Every day is the same thing. Day in, day out. Drive, teach, drive, teach, eat, procrastinate, sleep, repeat. I meet with friends maybe once a month, if even. I hang out with my brother and his girlfriend every week, but even that is just eating and watching movies. I deactivated my facebook account. My one outlet into the lives of my friends at large. Why? Because I was reading about all the cool things they get to do, all the fun things they do, worthwhile projects they take on, lives they're changing. It wasn't healthy for me to live like that, living vicariously through them.

Yesterday, I had lunch with the president of my alma mater, and other alumni in the area. It was my first alumni event, and though I didn't know anyone, and felt a bit awkward and out of place, I'm glad I went. It was held at the Union League Club near midtown, NYC (which is a beautiful venue for events and weddings); there were about 60 alumni present, if not more. It was so nice talking with fellow Wheaties; it made me miss that community so, so, so much. Everyone I talked with seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying; everyone seemed to be doing something kingdomly. I met a girl, Stacie '07, who's doing NPO work in SoHo, raising money to build wells in some TWC. I also met an older woman who used to attend Three Village Church, whose son is currently at SB Prep, who works at NYU and serves at Redeemer. President Ryken spoke, sharing some of his highlights and lowlights from this past school year. We opened and closed in prayer! I just haven't been in such a spiritually saturated environment in a long time, and it helped me remember just how lacking the world is. Not just the world; even my own church on Long Island.

Meeting these people, hearing about the issues raised on Wheaton campus, sharing in this bond, this love, that connects us even though we've never met, feeling like I'm a part of something greater. That 90 minute luncheon reminded me how to be a caring human being, how to have compassion on others, and reconfirmed my belief that yes, passion in someone is something to be desired.