Still Infatuated

It's so ridiculous. By no means should I still be so infatuated with this boy! It's been a five year crush, and though I've tried to convince myself to let it go, I just can't. I've tried to limit my contact with him, tried not to bring him up in conversations, tried not to over-analyze every little thing, but to no avail. My heart still beats a little faster whenever I am reminded of him, my mind continues to race with thoughts of him.

And yet, I still can't bring myself to tell him, to confess my feelings to him. I don't care how many people know, how many people find out, I just can't tell him. Despite my years and experience, I am transformed into a middle schooler again, hoping he'll hear through the grapevines, rather than be honest and tell him directly. It's so stupid...I'm so stupid. I wish I could just get over it, over him. But he's so precious and perfect, despite his flaws.